let’s talk: the humble brag

Posted on August 22, 2012 by Alyssa Longobucco

I recently stumbled upon this article in The Wall Street Journal and it got me thinking: has social media turned us all into braggarts? In a day and age where it’s so easy to share pieces of our lives with one another (and so easy to receive both positive and negative feedback), how far is too far? Does your entire Twitter feed need to know the flattering compliment you received today? Do your Facebook friends really care about the flawless weather you’re experiencing at the beach (photo of you laying in the sand, overlooking the water included)? Probably not. The modern-day social media environment has caused users to take what used to be private moments shared with a few close friends and encouraged them to instead broadcast them over every network possible–with a loud-speaker.

Just to be clear, I’m not calling anybody out. In fact–I’m so, so guilty of this. I’ve made a Facebook status about a great weekend and tweeted an Instagram picture about an amazing meal I just experienced at a restaurant (where I also checked in on Four Square). When I got my job, I was so proud that I put up a Facebook status–and yes, every “like” I received felt like a personal congratulations from that person. Why? Because I like to share my life with the people I care about. And somewhere in that group of hundreds of Facebook friends are a handful people who care what I think and care what I do (hey, Mom!), so I do it for them.

The problem isn’t in the sharing, but rather when it goes down a bad path–when the posting stops being about sharing your life and your experiences and your voice with others, and starts being about how many “likes” will inflate your ego, and how many retweets will make you feel superior. Social media has the power to make us feel so great–and also so low (but we’ll get to social media inflicted FOMO another time).

So I’m interested in what you guys think. What’s your stance on sharing through social media? Are there some things you don’t post, others that you keep to yourself? What drives you crazy and what is A-OK when it shows up on your feed? Is it weird to talk to a friend about a great weekend they had, only to wonder–but why didn’t they post about it on their Facebook? Where were the Instagram pictures? Has it all become so commonplace that you just accept it?

Also, I’m probably going to tweet this.

http://www.fromproseccotoplaid.com Julie

Love this topic and your post on it! I totally agree. I’m beyond guilty for the status updates and tweets and so forth, but I feel that’s what society has come to with social media taking over. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing, but I think there are definitely things that are better left for your private life and not posted all over your Facebook timeline (ie – the picture of your baby the second it comes out…may be a bit graphic for the world to see) Love this topic though! Very interesting. xo, Julie
http://www.fromproseccotoplaid.com
- alongobucco
  
  I agree–I totally don’t think sharing on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. is a bad thing AT ALL–there’s just a time and a place and that’s something that I’m still figuring out myself! However, your baby story honestly terrifies me haha–I’m sorry that that happened to you and your Facebook mini feed! xo
http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/ amy

interesting article, thanks for posting it. That cartoon is comical.
http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/
- alongobucco
  
  Thanks for reading, Amy!
http://twenty-somethingblog.com twenty-something

Wow, I guess I never sat back and thought about this but you’re totally right. I think it’s fine to post a picture or status about what you’re doing/if you’re enjoying yourself. I do that all the time and a lot of my friends in different states (Florida is the third I’ve lived in in 5 years) can keep up with me and see what I’m doing on the days we don’t get a chance to speak on the phone to catch up. What drives me up the wall though is when people use Facebook to broadcast EVERYTHING about their lives – breakups, makeups, how they hate their job and boss, all that negative stuff. I just hate reading it and posting stupid things like that quite frankly are annoying to read. It’s one thing to say man, I had a bad day today…it’s another to say my stupid ***** boss this and that I hate my job etc etc. It’s just immature and nobody wants to see it. I also despise anyone who uses Facebook as a platform to shove their political/religious/world views down the throats of others in a negative way.

Stephanie
- alongobucco
  
  I completely agree–there are just some things that shouldn’t be talked about over social media and ranting about your job is DEFINITELY one of them! Thanks for your input, Stephanie! xo
http://www.eisforemilyblog.com Emily

So interesting that you posted about this – this has been on my mind a lot lately! I have to force myself to take “time outs” from social media, sometimes for days at a time, as it can sometimes consume such a large part of my day. And it seems like lately, all that I see in my feeds are engagement rings, vacation shots and pregnant bellies. All very joyous things, but it can feel a little bit like I’m watching a lot of people talk about how great their lives are. I think it’s natural for us to want to share and celebrate events, vacations, etc. But when it gets to the point where we are measuring our own measure of the greatness of something by the number of likes we get, that’s when it turns into something else. Something not so good. I am totally guilty of this too, by the way.

Great post!! You got me thinkin!
- alongobucco
  
  You completely touched on my whole point of this–when we’re measuring our own successes or popularity or achievement against the number of likes, etc. we get–that’s where it gets sticky. I’ve started taking technology timeouts too, and honestly they are usually the most calm, level headed days I have (it helps that they’re always on weekends, too!). Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Emily! xo
http://livefreeandfashionable.wordpress.com lffashionable

I actually just made significant changes to my facebook last night for the same reason. There are some things I simply don’t want to share with everyone on Facebook. (I’m pretty sure my college friends don’t want to see all of the old family photos I scanned for my aunts and uncles).

I added all of my closest friends to a list “close friends”. When I post something I only want to share with them I am able to select that group as the only ones who can see it. I think we all have some facebook friends that we are really just friends with out of obligation or because we didn’t want to hurt their feelings by rejecting their friend requests. Now I can choose who sees what.
- alongobucco
  
  Tailoring your site it such a great idea, thanks for sharing! xo
http://twitter.com/GlamKitten88 Bonnie (@GlamKitten88)

In a way, yes, social media has turned us into more egocentric, humble braggers … However, since we are constantly pitching to the public about ourselves and our abilities, I think it is necessary.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
- alongobucco
  
  You’re right–it’s definite a double-edged sword because these days, it’s almost impossible to get noticed for anything (be that a job, a blog, a company, etc.) with out social media. Great point! Thanks for reading, Bonnie!
http://www.theurbanumbrella.com Bree

I do know what you mean, though I must say I am terrible at posting photos or status updates on both Twitter and Facebook. I only got twitter for my blog really and sometimes I have no idea what to post about – ususally ends up as something about the weather hahahah!
- alongobucco
  
  Haha so true–I feel that way sometimes too! I think weather will forever go down as that topic that people talk about when they can’t think of anything else, either in person or online! Whenever I feel awkward, I know I’m like, “Uh, so it’s really nice out today, huh?” So. Awkward.
http://howboutsomecake.wordpress.com how bout some cake

I’m so guilty of this, too! It’s a difficult line to walk, though. Honestly, I’d rather hear about people’s good news than read their constant complaining. Or politics. Or their daily schedule. So, in my opinion, there are worse things than the occasional (slightly braggy) photo/post. I think the key is to not over-do it.
- alongobucco
  
  Definitely! I actually love seeing what’s up with peoples lives (or the really gorgeous bag they got!) because I tend to be just very nosey! There’s definitely no clear black or white side to it!
http://www.alwaysmaylee.com Always Maylee

This is such an interesting topic and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel. I love seeing things on all the social media outlets posted by my friends and blogging buddies. But I myself, limit the things that I post. Maybe it’s because I’m really shy and am more of a private person. But then again, I have a blog where I post pictures of myself… so who even knows. What I do know, is that I do NOT enjoy reading about people’s bodily functions or who is being a cheater or what is going on in their bedrooms. I think there are certain areas of life that should be kept private.

xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
- alongobucco
  
  I completely agree! I also think there’s something special about being privy to the details of someones life–it makes you feel close to them, even if you’re hundreds of miles away. However, bodily functions? Cheating scandals? Those should probably be kept under wraps lol. Thanks for reading, Yi-chia! xo
crazystylelove

Ha ha, great post! I rarely share anything on my personal FB page. I figure that I would probably talk in person to anybody who would actually care about those types of things. As for the blog and social media, I tend to share a bit more because it gives you something to connect with people on. I definitely share the “look what I just bought and how much I love it” posts because my blog is about personal style, and I figure that people following through social media would actually be interested in new clothing purchases. I think there is a fine line between sharing just enough and sharing too much. It’s definitely a line that I try to be aware of and careful not to cross.

xo Jenny
http://www.crazystylelove.com
- alongobucco
  
  I love the connections with others that come through blogging (and even social media)! Thanks for your input, Jenny! xo
thelittlelam

HAHA I love this.. humble bragging can hurt more than help in a lot of situations though!

Caitlin
http://charmcolorfully.blogspot.com/
- alongobucco
  
  Haha true, thanks for reading, Caitlin!
http://mrtaylorandhislady.blogspot.com TJ

i loved this post. and i know that i always have to reflect back on my blog too. every once in a while, if i let myself forget, it only becomes about how many comments i get and not just the posting experience for myself and sharing my life online. we all have to learn to be more humble and truly reflect on why we do certain things.
thank you for sharing this!
xo TJ
- alongobucco
  
  I find the same thing too, TJ and I always try to remember that it’s the experience and relationships that can be formed (and maintained) through social media, rather than the “high” that can happen when you receive a lot of positive feedback. Thanks for reading! xo
http://therolexrelease.blogspot.com Alexandria

Excellent blog post! I limit my blog/FB/Twitter posts to positive aspects of my life; rarely do I post about anything negative. This has definitely opened my eyes to the fact that I could be slightly addicted to seeing how people react to all of the “fabulous” things that happen in my life. Hehe.
Can’t wait to read the WSJ article! Thanks!
- alongobucco
  
  I think we’re all prone to that–I for SURE am, it’s human nature! But I’m like you in that I really try to stay positive on my social media channels–but not in a way that’s false or depicting my life as overly charmed or easy. Thanks for stopping by! xo
http://pearlslace.wordpress.com Pearls and Lace

Definitely a good topic! I read your post on my way to work this morning and I finally have the chance to comment on it! I think Yi-chia is totally right, it depends on the type of person you are and I’m definitely more private. Don’t get me wrong, I love to post about positive things that happen in my life or things that I get excited about (such as new shopping purchases lol) but there are many things that I keep to myself. I think you’re right, many people get caught up in how many followers they have and how many likes they get when they post a photo on instagram for example. I also feel that some people overuse twitter, tweeting so many times each day that it gets a little out of control. Great post

xo, jen
- alongobucco
  
  Thank for reading, Jen! I totally agree with you, thanks for weighing in!
http://cravingforbarneys.wordpress.com cravingforbarneys

Actually I don’t have facebook because I think it’s not easy to take control of all the pics and comments. If I need to talk with my friends I can phone them but I don’t want a lot of people knowing details of my life!
- alongobucco
  
  I know a lot of people like that! I’ve switched between having it and not having it.
http://navlandstyle.blogspot.com navlandstyle

I SO agree with the whole social media business. I kid you not, I am off of facebook now bec I found myself on it 24/7 and it didnt make me feel like I grew in any positive manner!

navlandstyle.blogspot.com
- alongobucco
  
  I usually take mini-Facebook breaks…That helps me! Thanks for reading!
http://thefrugalistadiaries.blogspot.com Megan, The Frugalista Diaries

it’s totally acceptable! Xo Megan
http://sidesmilestyle.blogspot.com Ashley SideSmile Style

haha i love how you said “also I’m probably going to tweet this” I definitely think that some things don’t need to be shared on Facebook/twitter, but most of the time I genuinely enjoy reading about peoples trips, meals, etc. Great post!

xo SideSmile,
Ashley

SideSmile Style Blog
- alongobucco
  
  I agree–I still love little peeks into people’s lives Thanks for reading, Ashley! xo
Darby

I TOTALLY agree! I feel like it is always the same people on my newsfeed that can’t get enough of themselves!

Obviously Obsessed
http://www.facebook.com/soneshka13 Sophie-Marie de Merteuil

Hello! Glad to discover your blog!
This is definitely an interesting topic of discussion. I have been on Facebook for years, like everyone in my generation, (a blogger for one year) and I’ve realized no one really shares bad stuff, as in the deeply personal bad stuff. Aside from the shiny, “feel jealous” braggy stuff, like a delicious meal, new shoes, or a great vacation, the most “negative” things I have shared are stories I would laugh about later, like having possibly thrown my phone in the trash and being unable to call it, or a first-date horror story (without giving anything that may identify the guy in question). When I was younger, I used to share really personal stuff on Facebook, especially when I was bullied in high school. With distance, I feel like it was more like cries for help than anything else, and the most it’d make you look like is whiny.
Recently, I’ve been going through a difficult phase of my life, but instead of talking about it to the whole world to see, I only confide to close friends, and keep it private, However it’s led me to look for more “positive” stuff (like what I mentioned about) to talk about both on Facebook and my blog. And believe it or not, it turned out to be rather therapeutic. And when I read my own blog or look at my Facebook timeline, I realize, “wow, this person’s life looks perfect”. So in a way, it allows me to look at the bright side. I hope that makes sense…

Well, that was long, so better end it here!
Love,
S
http://www.sonushka.com
- alongobucco
  
  That does make sense, and I think it’s so interesting that others happiness helps you see the bright side too. I’ve never looked at it that way, but I think the same is true for me as well. Thank you so much for commenting!